
Do you believe humans are fundamentally good or fundamentally flawed?
First, recognize that this is a choice. You decide what you feel humans’ inherent nature to be. Second, recognize that, although this is a choice, it is quite possible the choice was made for you based on your genetic predispositions, your upbringing, and your life experiences. Last, recognize that, although the choice was made for you, YOU still have the power to choose.
In Living Beautifully by American-Tibetan buddhist Pema Chondron, she states that when you come from the view that you’re fundamentally good rather than fundamentally flawed, as you see yourself speak or act out, as you see yourself repress, you will have a growing understanding that you’re not a bad person who needs to shape up but a good person with temporary, malleable habits that are causing you a lot of suffering. By seeing yourself as fundamentally good, you can then see your strongly embedded habits with compassion. You can avoid strengthening the habits that have controlled you and begin to train in knowing what you’re doing when you’re doing it. You become mindful of your thoughts and actions.
The word “mindfulness” comes up often when making choices about yourself and others. Be mindful. But what does that mean and why does it seem so easy yet in practice is so difficult?
Neuroscientists tell us that we have a “default mode network,” or DMN, for our mind. When we close our eyes, our brain is at “rest,” but one part of our brain actually turns on and begins working. You may describe it as daydreaming, memory recalling, envisioning the future, and so on. When leading meditation, I often hear people say they cannot quiet their mind. That’s the DMN turning on and spontaneous action in the brain popping in – commonly known as the monkey mind. Your monkey mind, or DMN, is shaped by your environment, your habitual thinking, your past, your images of the future, ALL OF IT. Yours is unique to you.
We are trained to believe what we think and take it as truth. But our DMN and our innate negativity bias leave us thinking the same thoughts over and over again, and we begin to believe we are more flawed than good. Thus, being mindful with all our thoughts and actions becomes difficult – it becomes work. And may I add, “Don’t believe everything you think.”
“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become YOUR WORDS.
Keep your words positive because your words become YOUR BEHAVIOR.
Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes YOUR HABITS.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become YOUR VALUES
Keep your values positive because your values become YOUR DESTINY.”
- Gandhi
Creating a sense of control over our DMN allows us to shape our beliefs and create the belief that we are fundamentally good. Allowing the mind to rest and training it with mindfulness exercises let us reinforce and create positive habits and beliefs about ourselves and others.
Here is a variation on metta meditation (loving/kindness meditation). For the next week, take three minutes upon waking and repeat to yourself:
I am goodness, I am light.
You are goodness, you are light.
We are all goodness, we are all light.
That’s it.
It’s simple. There are 10,080 minutes in a week full of habitual thoughts. This exercise will take 21 of those minutes.
I hope you see all the beauty that lives inside of you. I hope you are able to see it within yourself and within others. I hope all of humanity sees our fundamental goodness.