The other day, my husband surprised me with a gift … an upright vacuum that promised to pick up all the hair our four-legged fur babies leave behind. My daughter could not help but laugh at the excitement both my husband and I had over the lightweight design and swivel steering for easy maneuverability that the thing had. “You two have been married way too long if a vacuum cleaner gives you that much joy,” she joked. I ignored her and encouraged my hubby to rip the box open so we could take this baby for a spin. But as my hubby began to “ooh” and “ahh” over how much hair was being sucked up into the bagless filter, I began to wonder if perhaps my daughter was right. Have we really lost our spark and excitement?

When one spouse gives another a vacuum cleaner, it’s easy to jump to the conclusion that the romance is gone from the relationship. Yet, if one spouse was to give the other a fancy diamond bracelet or some other type of expensive jewelry, we might assume that all is well, that they must really be in love. But is it fair to jump to conclusions that the giver of the vacuum cleaner values their spouse any less than the giver of the jewelry or that there may be trouble in paradise?  

Sorry, as a writer, I tend to overthink things; it’s a professional hazard. That said, the whole vacuum-as-a-gift thing made me begin to wonder just how well Hubby and I really know each other after 20 years of marriage. The vacuum was a very nice “just because” gift, but if he would have given it to me for Christmas, I would be the first to admit my reaction would be much more Grinch than jolly St. Nick-like. Certainly, my man knows me better, right? My daughter, always one up for a good scientific experiment and for a way to avoid doing her homework, decided to help us out. And so, the beginning of our Not-So-Newlywed Game began. 

For those too young to remember, The Newlywed Game was a television game show on which newly married couples would attempt to win exciting prizes and trips while letting an international TV audience know the precise location they last made “whoopee.” The game show was kind of a joke, though, because the contestants had only recently been married, and most didn’t have children, so they were fully rested and blissfully naive. They were at the stage where they spent all of their time together, which greatly increased the chances of them matching answers to gripping questions such as: “Who replaces the toilet paper roll the most?” But, in the Not-So-Newlywed Game my daughter created for us, we would find out just how well Hubby and I still knew one another after all these years. Her version would help us figure out if we had truly become a vacuum-cleaner-giving boring couple or if we still were connected. I am not quite sure how answering questions like, “How does your spouse like her steak cooked?” would show that, but my daughter was so excited that we played along.

Our much-cuter-than-Bob-Eubanks host started off by asking us questions separately, and then she brought Hubby and I back into the same room. With the homemade name tags on (I told you she was  avoiding her homework), Hubby and I sat there, smiling, but perhaps both a bit nervous that instead of laughter, this game could end up with someone sleeping with the dog hair on the couch. 

So, what did we find out … we don’t know each other very well at all! We didn’t get the answer right to any of her questions! Not one! She left discouraged, but Hubby and I were okay. You see, we did learn something very important about each other playing her game. Perhaps, the fact that we still don’t know everything about one another is what has kept our marriage fresh all these years. He doesn’t know what craziness to expect from me, and I certainly cannot predict what appliance he may randomly bring home. But it’s okay because that just means we still have a lot more years ahead to surprise one another.